May Morning Breakfast

Pat told me I had to write this one down. Otherwise I forget what I did and can't do it again.


Lightly toasted English Muffin, lightly buttered and lightly spread with sweet hot pepper jelly. Top with poached egg infused with a drop of Balsamic Glaze and sprinkled with seasoned salt before cooking. Top with chopped cherry tomato, lemon thyme, chili pepper flakes salsa. Grind some fresh black pepper over top. Drizzle with sauce made with equal parts Dijon Mustard, mayo and lemon juice.

I know, I usually post a picture. Sorry. We were hungry.

Zoom, zoom

I got a new lens for my camera (yay!). At Christmas, my lovely wife bought me a new camera, a Canon Rebel T3i with an 18-55mm wide angle zoom lens. For my birthday, I got some cold hard cash towards a telephoto zoom. Yesterday, I picked up a 70-300mm zoom lens.

My original lens went from here:




to here:



My new lens goes from here:



to here:



Cool!

Ask an Atheist anything...

Apparently, today is "National Ask an Atheist Day." Who knew? Now, most people I know are not under any illusions about my beliefs, and for the most part, they play no part in my day to day life. But, if you happen to have a question about atheists or atheism that you'd like answered, hey, now's the time. Ask away, and I will do my best to provide reasonable, considered answers.

In fact, I don't even care if the question is about or relating to atheism at all. Let's make this one of those "Ask Me Anything" memes that Jaquandor likes to do over at Byzantium's Shores.

I can not has Internet now?

As a quick follow-up to my previous - non-photographic - Internet cat post; my wife came home from work to find out she could not access the World Wide Web from her laptop for some unknown reason. After a significant amount of generally ineffectual troubleshooting, we discovered the laptop's internal wi-fi card had been turned off. Apparently, in getting comfortable on the keyboard earlier in the day, Kitteh had managed to simultaneously press the shift key, and the F-whatever key that has the little picture of an antenna on it.

Do you think she's trying to tell us something?

Trimming the tree

Tonight we set up the Christmas tree, and discovered that the lighted snowflake we've had as a topper for the last several years doesn't light up any more. Pat commented that trying to figure out which little mini light bulb was burned out was more trouble than it was worth, and we should just buy a new tree topper. Which statement immediately brought to mind this post from the original AWV, originally published in December of 2007:

We put up the Christmas tree today. As the wife was trimming it, she mentioned that we needed to get a new angel to put on top. As I recall, the conversation went something like this...

Paul: Can we get one that shoots lasers out of her eyes?
Paul's wife: Lasers? That wouldn't be very angelic.
Paul: Can we get one riding a shark?
Paul's wife: Get serious.
Paul: I am serious. I think an angel riding a shark with lasers shooting out of her eyes would be all kinds of awesome.

In remembrance

...and in support of those who grieve:

http://awvarchive.blogspot.com/2005/09/now-of-it-all.html

http://awvarchive.blogspot.com/2006/09/weekend-assignment-remembering.html

Those posts now reside in an archive of the original Aurora Walking Vacation blog. If you feel moved to comment, please do so here, rather than there.

Concerning Debcons, and The Great Tim Tam Heresy

My friends, my dear, dear friends, we have been led astray. The path we have been following faithfully, it turns out, is but a maze of deception. We have been led astray.

Let me explain.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was about seven o'clock on a Saturday night. Most of us had arrived at Lai Toh Heen restaurant near Mount Pleasant and Eglinton for our "Taste of Kitai" dinner and Debcon Bright Weavings Get Together. Things were going about as usual. Guy was buying drinks (thank you, Sir); people were renewing old accquaintances, and making new ones; we were all admiring Niel's authentic first off the press editions of Lord of Emperors, Ysabel, and Under Heaven; I was calling Paula on my cell phone... As is also usual at these gatherings, new people were fitting in like old friends. At one point, I wandered over to the other table to see how things were going. Loni was there. Our eyes met. There was a sudden hush around the table - almost a stillness in the room. And then, she said those three little words: "I brought Tim-tams."

For a moment, I didn't say anything. Then, as is my wont, I tried to make light of the situation. "Where," I said, "are we going to find hot chocolate?"

It was Loni's turn to spend a moment in silence. The look of confusion on her face alarmed me. "What," she finally managed, "what ever would you want with hot chocolate?"

I looked around furtively. There were several of the uninitiated in the room. I leaned in close. I whispered, "you know, for the...slams."

She laughed. Not with malice, but with affection. She patted my hand reassuringly, much as one would pat the hand of a young child who had just announced that he doubted the existence of Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny... or Jesus. "Silly boy," she said. "You do Tim-tam slams with coffee, not hot chocolate."

The room spun. I struggled to maintain my footing on a floor threatening to fall out from under me. "But, but, Thunderchi-, Terry... he said-"

Someone else spoke then. In my condition I could not even tell who, but the words shall be burned indelibly on my soul from this time until eternity: "Paul, Terry didn't drink coffee." At last the heresy was revealed. Terry, Thunderchild, he who preceeded us all, had taught us an alternative Tim-tam slam. He had modified the traditional ritual in order to suit his own, personal tastes and preferences. Our slamming had never been authentic. From the very beginning, we had indulged in a fake cultural phenomenon. Happily, blissfully unaware of the error of our ways, we had slammed Arnott's Chocolate Biscuits using the wrong hot drink. We were like Anglicans taking fake communion, moderate muslim women wearing pants, Hindus eating hamburger. We were heretics.

I welcomed the inquisition. I confessed my sins. I renounced my heretical ways.

I ordered a coffee. Carefully, I nipped the diagonally opposite corners off a delicate chocolate biscuit. I dipped it into the strong, black, unsweetened chinese brew. I drew the warm liquid in through the makeshift chocolate straw. Just as the bitter coffee hit my tongue, I shoved the rapidly softening cookie into my mouth.

Oh.

My.

God!

My friends, the truth was revealed to me that night. The everlasting truth that is the real path of the Tim-tam slam was delivered to me in a blast of mouth watering, soggy, bitter-sweet Arnott's Chocolate Biscuit. And I cannot keep this truth to myself. It fills me to overflowing. I must pass it on. Hear me now, friends. Get up off your couch. Get youself down to your local imported confectioner and buy a package of Tim-tams. Pick up a coffee at Dunkin Donuts on the way home - black, no sugar. And then, my friends, my children, my dear, dear children, and then... Slam those babies!

Hallelujah!

Six years of secret Santa hints

This will only be significant - or even comprehensible - to four or five of my dozen or so regular readers, but I wanted somewhere to put it so that I could link to it from elsewhere, so here it is.

Brightweavings.com secret santa sign-up/hints Q&A, 2003-2009:

2003

I prefer a more contemporary spelling system, so I'll just refer to our organizational elf as:
The Mail Man


1. What is your age range?

I don't want to be too specific, but I'm somewhere between 38 and 39.

2. Gender?

Maille(ok, so I'm not as clever as I like to think.)

3. Do you have a favorite color?

No. Colour is good.

4. Favorite authors/ type of book?

Fantasy/Science Fiction, but I'm picky.

5. What books have you really been wanting?

Can't think of one.

6. What type of music do you like?

Really picky here too. I only listen to Hard Rock, Rap, Classical, Jazz, Flamenco Guitar, Inuit Pop, Celtic, and South American Zydeco music.

7. What cds have you really been wanting?

Can't think of any of those, either. I'm kinda an impulse CD shopper.

8. What movies have you been wanting? (Specify DVD or VHS and region code)

Kinda thinkin' about The Nightmare Before Christmas (region 1)(widescreen only), but no nevermind.

9. What is your t-shirt size?

Large. Well, really medium, but you know how T-shirts go. Definitely not XL.

10. Do you collect anything? if so, what?

Antique cameras, just in case my secret Santa wins the lottery just before he/she shops for me.

11. What are some of your other hobbies?

Well, curling. Who'da thunk it? Um. BBQ. Sure, yeah, BBQ. And B&W photography.

12. Do you prefer gold-tone or silver-tone jewelry?

Platimun.

13. Do you have any food allergies or serious dislikes?

No food allergies. I really, really, really don't like today's crop of Saturday morning cartoons.

14. Anything else you think your Secret Santa should know?

The older I get, the more concerned I am with nose hair.


2004

1. what is your age range? without being too specific, approximately 39 years, 8 months.

2. gender? 19, 20, 21! Male.

3. Do you have a favorite color? No.

4. favorite authors/ type of book? Mostly science fiction. Big fan of Larry Niven, Frank Herbert, David Brin, Orson Scott Card...

5. what books have you really been wanting? Medea: Harlan's World.
Ringworld's Children or Scatterbrain by Larry Niven
Kiln People or Life Happens by David Brin

6. what type of music do you like? Almost every known form of music. Except country. And opera. I enjoy hearing traditional music from all over the world.

7. what cds have you really been wanting? Is the new Lee Aaron CD out yet? Why, yes it is.

8. What movies have you been wanting? (Specify format and region) I Still think the DVD (North American widescreen release) of A Nightmare Before Christmas would be cool.

9. what is your t-shirt size? Is there more than one? Large, I guess.

10. do you collect anything? if so, what? If I don't come up with a gift for my wife that beats what I sent to Daisyjane last year, I'll be collecting bad mojo for some time to come

11. what are some of your other hobbies? writing, watching TV, napping.

12. do you prefer gold-tone or silver-tone jewelry? my jewelry quota is currently filled.

13. please include anything else you feel is important that would help your secret santa know what you would like. I absolutely loved Clinton's inclusion of the concept of the 'mathom' last year.

Remember that "negative hints" such as allergies might also be helpful. I got nuthin'

Ho! Ho! Ho!


2005

1. What is your age? 40...ish

2. Male or Female? Male. At least I was when I filled out this survey last year. Don't think anything has changed.

3. Do you have a favourite color? Yes

4. Favourite authors/Type of book? Um...kinda obvious, no?

5. What books have you really been wanting? I've been looking to dive into Dunnett, but have not yet taken the plunge. Also, something in a skeptical vein might be interesting, like Sagan, or Dawkins.

6. What type of music do you like? I'm pretty much a huge music fan. The older I get, the less exclusive I become. If you like it, I'll likely like it.

7. What cd's have you really been wanting? A new Loreena McKennitt CD, but unless you can persuade her to start recording again, it's probably not gonna happen.

8. What movies have you been wanting? DVD(include region code) or VHS (NTSC or PAL) I'd love the Nightmare Before Christmas Special Edition DVD (NTSC, region 1)

9. What is your t-shirt size? L

10. Do you collect anything? If so, what? Antique cameras. Artwork is cool.

11. Do you collect things from other countries? There are other countries?

12. What are some of your other hobbies? Curling...I need a new hogs' hair push broom. Or a beer mug that says Scots do it with 44lb. rocks.

13. Do you prefer gold-tone or silver-tone jewelry? Gold

14. Please include anything else you feel is important that would help your Secret Santa know what you would like. I (heart) my dog. The cats I can take or leave. Also, mathoms rule!

15. Do you have any food allergies? Nothing has killed me so far, but something in Italy made me break out in spots. My wife thinks it was the peaches.

16. Full mailing address (Include real name)Has been sent to our seasonal elf.

17. What is your BW.com username? Um, isn't it at the top of the post? If it's too much trouble to scroll up to it, Robin_of_Lox.

Merry Christmas to come.


2006

1. What is your age range?
I am several months short of being "the answer."

2. Gender?
Male.

3. Do you have a favorite color?
Yes.

4. Favorite authors/ type of book?
Yes.

5. What books have you really been wanting?
I have recently thought I might like to do some reading on skeptical topics. Sagan or Dawkins come to mind.

6. What type of music do you like?
Music. Recently I've been enjoying folk and traditional music, but it's hard, really, to go wrong. Classical. Blues. Jazz. Good old fashioned Rock 'n' Roll.

7. What CDs have you really been wanting?
That new Sting album of Lute music sounds really cool. No, I'm not kidding. Also been eyeing Rachelle Van Zanten, Kelly Trottier, April Verch, and Eileen Laverty since seeing them all at the Ottawa folk festival.

8. What movies have you been wanting? What region DVDs can you view?
Region 1 (North America). Got a hurt on for the new Battlestar Galactica series, but that's a little bit too dear for this venue.

9. What is your t-shirt size?
Men's large. Medium in real clothes, but T-shirts are different.

10. Do you collect anything? if so, what?
Abusive letters from indignant astrologers and creationists. Antique cameras. Withering looks of scorn from my cat. You know, the normal things.

11. What are some of your other hobbies?
Curling. Golf. Poking astrologers and creationists.

12. Do you prefer gold-tone or silver-tone jewelry?
I have all the jewelry I'll ever wear.

13. Please include anything else you feel is important that would help your secret santa know what you would like.
In the sprit of this event, mathoms and hand made items are greatly appreciated. Things from where you are, or that represent what you are. It's the participation and interaction that count here, not the gift itself.


2007

What is your BW.com username? Robin_of_lox

What is your age range? 42-42

Gender? Male

Do you have a favorite color? Yes

Favorite authors/ type of book? SF/Fantasy. Right now I have a hankering for all things Scalzi (I already have Old Man's War). Also would love some Sagan (non-fiction), particularly The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark.

What books have you really been wanting? Oops, see above.

What type of music do you like? Music.

What CDs/music have you really been wanting? Any of the Johnny Cash "American Recordings" series.

What movies have you been wanting? What region DVDs can you view? Meh. Not so much.

What is your t-shirt size? M or L. Mostly L.

Do you collect anything? If so, what? Antique cameras. Extra pounds.

What are some of your other hobbies? Writing on my blog. Curling. Unappreciated acerbic wit.

Do you prefer gold-tone or silver-tone jewelry? Meh, not so much.

Do you have any food allergies or serious dislikes? No.

Please include anything else you feel is important that would help your Secret Santa know what you would like. Mathoms are good. Homemade stuff is good. Fun is good.


2008

What is your BW.com username? Robin_of_lox

What is your age range? I am no longer the answer.

Gender? In a binary world, I'd be a one, not a zero.

Do you have a favorite color? Yes.

Favorite authors/ type of book? SF/Fantasy (duh!) Recently reading skeptical and scientific non-fiction a bit. Got The God Delusion last year and enjoyed it.

What books have you really been wanting? The Demon Haunted World by Carl Sagan. John Scalzi's The Last Colony. Is it too early to start the new Thomas Covenant series?

What type of music do you like? Just about everything. No country.

What CDs/music have you really been wanting? Arc Angels, Haywire, and more recent, Haley Westenra, Rodrigo Y Gabriela, Georgie Auld, Armik. Just some artists I've written down while listening to Pandora.

What movies have you been wanting? What region DVDs can you view? Region 1, I believe (North America). Nothing specific on my want list here, but I'm open to suggestion.

What is your t-shirt size? L

Do you collect anything? If so, what? Antique Cameras, unapproving stares, waistline inches.

What are some of your other hobbies? Curling, picking on the credulous.

Do you prefer gold-tone or silver-tone jewelry? Don't really wear much.

Do you have any food allergies or serious dislikes? No. I'm an adventurous eater. No bugs.

Please include anything else you feel is important that would help your Secret Santa know what you would like. Mathoms are good. Really, it's the thought that counts.


2009

What is your BW.com username? Same as it ever was.

What is your age range? Fo-di-fo.

Gender? Maniscule

Do you have a favorite color? Blue - no Yellow - Aaaaaahhh!

Favorite authors/type of book? Haven't really been reading much lately.

What books have you really been wanting? Something by Carl Sagan or James Randi would be fun. Also, if you could contact Ricardo Pinto, and give him a smack upside the head and tell him to hurry up and finish the third book of The Stone Dance of the Chameleon series, that would be good.

What type of music do you like? Music. Like music much much lots. No country or opera. Pretty much anything else is fair game. Wait - if John Scalzi likes it I probably think it's stupid.

What CDs/music have you really been wanting? Nothing specific comes to mind right now. I'm open to trying new things.

What movies have you been wanting? What region DVDs can you view? Region 1 (North America). I got The Nightmare Before Christmas last year, so that's out.

What is your t-shirt size? L.

Do you collect anything? If so, what? Richmond Hill Curling Club Sinner's Brier commemorative mugs. Fat lips for my smart mouth. You know, stuff.

What are some of your other hobbies? Curling.

Do you prefer gold-tone or silver-tone jewelry? Not really a jewelry kind of guy.

Do you have any food allergies or serious dislikes? No. Well, OK, I'm pretty averse to homeopaths and astrologers.

Please include anything else you feel is important that would help your Secret Santa know what you would like. As in previous years, mathoms and regional items are fun. Homemade is cool. Stuff like that.

A little bit of decorating

We recently repainted the living room/dining room area in our house. By recently, I mean, last summer. Since then we've been slowly picking away at this design element, and that accessory, and the other piece of furniture. The new couch arrived last week (and when I say arrived, I mean, we borrowed my father-in-law's van and went to Sears to pick it up ourselves). Prior to that, Pat had nabbed a large mirror for the wall above the couch from one of those discount home stores for some stupid stupid low price. I think it was regular fifty nine dollars, on sale for twenty nine dollars, on clearance for seventeen-fifty. Looks awesome, and no one notices the teeny little crack in the bottom corner. (Or, you know, if they do, I hit them over the head with a big stick, drag them down into the basement, and brick them up behind a wall.)

The one thing we had the hardest time with was deciding what to do with the long wall that runs the full length of both the living room and the dining room. Finally, we decided to create a photo mosaic of multiple smaller pictures, rather than try to find larger, affordable (key, that) prints to hang. I dusted off the CD full of pictures I took during our trip to Italy four years ago, and we made a run to IKEA to pick up a gaggle (herd? pride? clutch? flock? drove? brood?) of frames, in a variety of sizes.

Here is the result:



You can click on the picture to go to my Flickr photostream, where you can look at a larger version of this picture, and all of the photographs we used to fill the frames. You know, if you want.

Don't click this link!

Today I signed in to Facebook to find a message telling me that one of my "friends" had posted a link on my wall. It was a You Tube link with the title, "WOW Video!" I was about to click on it to see what video this "friend," Kathryn, was sending me. Before I could, though, my skeptical radar kicked in, and I hesitated. Why would Kathryn, who is the older sister of a guy I was sorta friends with, on and off, in public school, more than thirty years ago be sending me a link to a video with no note of explanation attached? I mean, I knew her, and all, but we "friended" each other on Facebook because of that "friend" suggest feature: she was a "friend" of a "friend" of someone who was a "friend" of one of my "friends"...or something like that. But since we "friended" each other, we haven't actually exchanged two words. (Hi Kathryn - there, that's two).

I have this little habit I have developed over several years of web surfing. Before I click any link, I hover my mouse over it first, and look at the bottom left corner of my browser to see if the actual URL is the same as the one presented to my mouse. In this case, it was - no flag there - or was there? Sure it was a web address that had the words, "youtube," in it, but YouTube addresses all start with youtube dot com slash something, something, something. In this link, the 'youtube' was later in the address, with a bunch of random numbers in front of it. But Facebook pages are wierd, they embed other links within them all the time. I clicked on the link.

I did it, I clicked the link. I was lucky. It took me to a page titled, "Facebook Video," with a little video window on the left, and a picture of my "friend" on the right, and a message that said, Kathryn wants you to see this video. But the little video screen was black, with a message in it that said, "you must upgrade to the latest version of Flash to see this video. Click here to upgrade." I...almost clicked there to upgrade. Two things saved me. First, I have a teenaged son who uses YouTube on a daily basis. I'd seen him using it yesterday. I mean, it's possible that my Flash player needed an upgrade from yesterday to today, but that skeptical radar was buzzing again. I did my little hover the mouse trick again, and noted that clicking the link in question would download a file called setup.exe - a perfectly reasonable thing for an upgrade link to point to. I almost clicked the link. I didn't click. I have this pathological fear of exe files.

I started adding up all the little warning signs in my head, and they added up to, "danger, Will Robinson!" I deleted the link from my wall, and headed over to Kathryn's profile page to ask her if she, indeed, had sent me the link intentionally. And I wasn't the first. There were seven comments before mine, all saying, "hey! Why'd you send me a virus?"

Chalk one up for skeptical radar.

An open letter to C.W. Coops, Aurora location

Dear ownership and management of C.W. Coops restaurant, in Aurora, Ontario,

I visited your establishment this past Friday evening, at 8:23P.M. I know exactly what time it was because I took my cellphone out and put it on the table in front of me as I sat down, in case my son or my wife called during what I expected was going to be my evening repast. I only mention it because it will become important later on. Stick with me.

While I wouldn't exactly call myself a regular, I have visited your restaurant several times, both with my family and alone. We quite enjoy your chicken wings, and always spend several minutes agonizing over which of your 100 flavours of wings to choose. We have yet to be disappointed with our selection.

On this occasion, however, that decision was not going to factor into the equation - for a couple of reasons. First, I was in a bit of a hurry, and had already decided what I was going to order before I sat down. The second reason I'll get to in a moment. Honest.

I noticed that you weren't too busy that evening. Less than 25% capacity I would estimate. Now, maybe it was in between rushes for you; the dinner crowd having already left, and the Friday night partiers yet to arrive. Still, it was Friday evening, and the Blue Jays were playing, and you are, to some extent, a sports bar. I was surprised to see how empty the place was.

And yet... And yet, when I picked up my cellphone again, and looked at it, five minutes had passed, and I had yet to be served. Served? Heck, I had yet to even be acknowledged. I don't think either of the two waitresses/bartenders had even noticed me come in, or seen me sitting there, slowly starving to death.

I call them waitresses/bartenders because I am not sure which of them, if either, were which. I did not see either of them actually come out from behind the bar at any time I was in the restaurant. Oops, that was a bit of a hint, wasn't it? You can probably see where I'm going, now, can't you?

Yeah, when my cellphone told me it was 8:33P.M. - I had been there for ten full minutes and had not been spoken to, or even looked at by any staff member in the place in all that time - I got up and walked out the door. I was watching the girls behind the bar as I went. Just as neither of them took notice of my arrival, they didn't see me leave either. So, they're not in a position to advise you of the lost revenue they are responsible for. They didn't even give themselves the chance to find out if I'm a good tipper, or not.

I got in my car and drove two minutes up the road to the other wing place in town - I'm sure you know the one. Their wings aren't really what they used to be, and they just have the one flavour. But, you know what? Less than a minute after I sat down, there was a waitress at my table. In a span of time short enough that it has to be measured in seconds, my food order was being taken. Less than two minutes after I walked in the door, there was a cold beer in my hand, and I was eating wings and fries less than eight minutes later. Sure, they weren't Jamaican dry jerk, or smokey maple, or any other unique flavour. But they were hot, they were fresh, and they were on the table in front of me in less time than it took me to get fed up and walk out of your establishment.

In these difficult economic times, customers can seem like a dwindling resource. Certainly, the other place wasn't any busier than you were. But they were definitely doing all the things they knew how to do to make sure they got full value from the customers they had.

Now, I'm not saying I'm never coming back to your place. As I've mentioned, we like your wings. And let's be honest, if I'd already written you off, I wouldn't be taking the time to write this. I only criticize because I care. I'm just saying, a little pep talk might do wonders for your staff, and your customer retention. 'Cause I gotta tell ya, if I have a similar experience there again, and my family's with me, that will be the end of it. The wife and the teenager are less likely to get up and walk out unserved, but they are much more likely to reject the idea of second chances.

I hope you receive this in the spirit in which it is offered, and look at it as an opportunity to instruct your staff.

regards,

Paul Little
Aurora, Ontario

A bunch of stuff

Role reversal?

Rebecca - also known as 'she who goes walkabout' - who blogs at Provocation of Mine(d) - from whom we are familiar with sudden, long absences from the world of blogging - has been pumping out an entry a day for over a month now.

I - who used to be good for at least three or four entries a week - am having difficulty managing three a month these days. I - in comments at Rebecca's blog - early in her 30 entries in 30 days experiment - suggested that I might try to emulate her. At some point.

What was I thinking?

Now, she's nosing around here - leaving oh-so-polite comments - sending me friendly emails - reminding me - asking me - prodding me - refusing to let me pretend I never made the comment. "When are you going to start your 30 posts in 30 days?" she queries. I can almost see her batting her eyelashes in mock innocence; hear her voice dripping with honey...and cyanide.

What can I say, Becky? My blogging output recently has suffered greatly at the hands of real life - and internet ennui. I'm not sure I can muster the wherewithall to create an entry a week, much less one a day. Let's just say I'll try to put something here more often that I have been lately and see what happens, OK?

Counting in Japanese...over and over again

The family and I have been watching the first season of Heroes on DVD. Good times.

In one recent episode - which we watched last night - our Hero - Hiro - is locked in a broom closet. The scene opens with him counting to three - in Japanese - and throwing himself at the door - over and over - which resolutely refuses to open - throwing him to the ground - over and over.

The point of my story is the counting. In Japanese. The subtitles say, "one, two, three," but Hiro says - out loud - "Ichi, ni, san..." Listening to this, I cannot help but hear the opening bars of the 80s Canadian hit song, The Second That I Saw You, by Strange Advance, that begins with a female voice counting in the song. In Japanese.

Here's a sample. Listen.



For the last twenty four hours, this song has been playing in my head. Over. And over. And over. You can have it for a while. OK?

A thing about spring

One of the things about spring that can be annoying is the dramatic temperature swing we see over the course of a day. How many of you have looked high and low for your jacket one morning, only to remember that you left it at work the day before because it was cold when you went in, but warm when you came home?

Today I had lunch on the run. I had to drive down to Richmond Hill to sign some cheques for the curling club. I'm cruising along - window down - radio playing - and about halfway there, I realize the there's hot air blowing at me from the vents. Really hot air.

This is another manifestation of spring: drive to work with the heater on full - 'cause damn, it's cold - then get halfway home that afternoon - when it's warm and sunny - before you realize you forgot to turn the heater off when you got out of the car that morning, and your shoes are melting.

Stupid spring.


That's all I got.

My finger, let me show it to you...

   I'm too nice a guy to throw up just the finger. Here's all four. Note the result of bouncing a fifty pound car battery off the middle one of the group. Typing's gonna be a bitch for a while.

An experiment

Try this:

   Stand up. Bend over as far as you can. Put your head down between your knees. Just hold that position for a minute while I get the camera. Only joking. OK, ready? Now, stand back up as fast as you can. Whoa! Feel woozy? Room spinning? Most people have experienced what is commonly called a "head rush" before. Imagine feeling that way all the time; every minute of every day. Welcome to my world.
   It started with a cold. You know, sore throat, cough, runny nose, sinus congestion. After four or five days with no let-up, I visited my doctor, and she felt there was a good chance it was a bacterial infection, and prescribed some anti-biotics. That afternoon Mr. Vertigo came to visit, and my world, quite literally, turned topsy-turvy.
   For three days I couldn't stand up without the room reeling around me, my stomach roiling and threatening to jettison its contents. I could sit on the couch and read for short periods of time, but would quickly have to retreat to my bed when the dizziness and nausea became overwhelming. Two nights running my wife had to hold my head while I retched over the toilet at 2:00 AM, brought on simply by sitting up in bed to take some cold and sinus medication. Finally, on the third day, she dragged me back to see the doctor again.
   "It's a virus," she said (the doctor). She had made me turn my head this way and that, push or pull back my arms and legs against resistance in a number of positions. She had shined a light in my eyes to check my pupillary response, checked my reflexes with that pointy little hammer, and asked me a myriad of questions - all to rule out a neurological cause. I don't have a brain tumor. "It's a virus," she said. "It's found its way into your middle ear, which is the physical center of balance control for your body." That's why I have to hold onto the walls to walk from the bedroom to the bathroom.
   The worst of it should be over in a week to ten days, she told me, but the balance problems could persist, off and on, for three to six weeks. Three to six weeks! I've already been off work for eight days (and missed six curling games, damn it). Another week, and I'll have exhausted my accrued vacation pay, and be incomeless. And while the nausea has abated, I still feel like I have a head rush for most of every day. I'm unsteady on my feet, slow-moving, and slow-witted.

   Curse you, Rhinovirus!

   On another note, Celle dropped by to say hello the other day. She has a new blog, and is hoping you'll all go visit her. I have no idea who Celle is, or how she stumbled across AWV. Still, she asked nicely.

I'm no Sally Field

Gosh! So many best wishes messages, both here and via email and Facebook. My heart says, "thank you so much," although I cannot get my knees to concede to anything more than, "damn you all! Damn you all to Hell!" Also, I can now visually communicate my age by holding up a number of fingers on both hands without having to think about which hand comes first, and whether that's from my perspective, or yours. I do, however, have to worry about being mistaken for making some kind of gang hand signal, and inadvertently inviting a drive-by shooting. I feel much safer responding to questions about my age by gesturing with a single hand.

Dan took the time to publicly out me wish me a happy birthday on his blog, where he made a somewhat stunning admission: my blog was the first one he ever read. He credits me with prompting him to start his own. So, to those of you who have been reading The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind for the last few years, let me just say..."I'm sorry."

Hi there

It's me.

Yep, still alive.

I know, I haven't been around much. Seems I don't have as much time for the Internet as I used to. Sorry.

Christmas was good. Gave a couple of winners. Got a couple of winners. Spent some really good quality time with family. Stuff like that.

New Years was good. Pretty much like every year - sat around with friends, had a great dinner, drank a bit too much, toasted with champagne at midnight, went to bed not too long after.

Didn't make any resolutions. Pretty much never do.

What about you?

Dear Gabe,

You don't know me. We've never met. I'm just a guy your mother occasionally finds to be mildly amusing.

I'm also a Canadian, so I'm somewhat removed from your situation. Aside from the different attitudes towards the military in our two countries, I also think the decision your government made to send you and your fellows into Iraq was a poor one. Or at least made for the wrong reasons.

That, however does not reflect on you in any way. You are a man who answered his country's call when he perceived it was needed. You stood up and said, "yes, put me in harm's way for the benefit of all my friends, family, neighbours and countrymen." For that I have nothing but the utmost respect for you, and the brothers-in-arms with whom you have spent the last two years.

I am also a father; not of a whole brood of Oompahs, like your parents, but of a fourteen year-old boy - much like one of your younger brothers - much like you were, yourself, not too many years ago. As such, I have understood your Mother's complex feelings over your enlistment and deployment. I have read along in her blog, feeling her fear for, feeling her helplessness about, and feeling her emmense pride in her son. I cannot imagine what I would feel if my son announced he was joining the military. Were it to come to pass, I can only hope to handle it with the grace your Mother has displayed during a time when her worst fears were never very far from the surface of her mind.

With your current tour of duty over, I share your Mother's joy at your return home, and relief that you are out of harm's way - at least for a while. Welcome home, Gabe. Well done, and welcome home. Have a beer for me. Heck, have two - it'll be like having one Canadian beer.

Sincerely,

Paul Little

(cross posted in Letters to Gabe)

Thursday, Friday and Saturday

T: The Majesty of Rock (or How To Know When You've Been Up Too Long)*

Thursday night, while I was reading "my blogs," I came across a fun post at BigHeathenMike's place. Mike featured a YouTube video from the Barenaked Ladies Bathroom Sessions. I'd never heard of them before - the 'Bathroom Sessions,' not The Barenaked Ladies - so I clicked through to explore a bit. (They're basically just some home video recordings of acoustic renderings of Barenaked Ladies songs recorded by Ed Robertson and Stephen Page in Ed's bathroom - no, don't think about that too much; nothing good can come of it.)

Anyway, you know how, on YouTube, they have all those links to "related videos" down the side? And, you know how you can sometimes click on a few of those links, jumping from one "related" video to another "related" video, and eventually end up somewhere almost completely inexplicable? Yeah... Well... Sometime around one o'clock I found myself watching this:



So, as a point of information: when you find yourself, in the wee hours of the morning, watching a stop-motion animated YouTube video called 'Lego Spinal Tap,' it's time to say to yourself, "go to bed, idiot!"

Just a small piece of advice from me to you.

F: Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight (or It's All Fun Until Some Zombie's Eye Falls Out)**

Friday night we left the boy home to hand out Halloween candy, while we went out to the curling club. We dressed up for the holiday as the losing team on ice number 6. It's bad enough losing a game, but we had to suffer the indignity of being beaten by a woman in a four foot tall, rainbow coloured, Cat-in-the-Hat tophat, a bright orange, oversized cardigan, and spiderweb patterned, silk boxer shorts. Not that I mind losing to Karen. She's a fine curler, and I'm getting used to being beaten by her, but you'd think she could do it with a little bit more, I don't know, style, or something.

S: [Listen To The] Flower People (or How to make your voice heard in a participatory democracy)***

I'm really looking forward to Tuesday. Actually, I'm really looking forward to the day after Tuesday, when we can all stop talking about the American Election, and just get on with our lives. Seriously, does the whole world come to a stop to watch the outcome of an election in any other country in the entire world? (Just in case you were unsure of the answer to that question, it's, "no.")

But listen, all you American readers out there. Do me a favour. Vote. It's important. Go out and vote. I voted in our election, you vote in yours. Not being an American myself, I'm not going to presume to tell you who I think you should vote for. I'm just saying, "vote." Even if you're going to vote for the guy I don't want to see in office, still, vote. I mean it.

That's all.


* No Viagra was harmed during the writing of this post.

** Several commas were abused during the writing of this post

*** Stretching a theme too far was criminally perpetrated during the writing of this post. This one does not go to eleven.

More stuffs

That snow from last week? It all melted the next day. Then, it snowed more last night. So, we have another thin, white blanket over the ground this morning. Apparently, Ottawa was supposed to get fifteen centimeters last night. It's not even November yet.

It's sunny out right now. It'll all probably be gone again this time tomorrow.

The wife spent yesterday at the Toronto Food Bank with her work group. They sorted and packed food all day long. She says they had to throw out almost as much as they packed. Apparently, many people think that donating to the food bank is a good thing to do with those items they find in their cupoboard that are past the best before date.

People! If you won't feed it to your family, don't suggest that someone else should feed it to theirs. If you have ever done this, I order you to go out to the grocery store - right now - and buy a brand new package of powdered milk, and a jar of peanut butter, and drop them off at your local food bank immediately. And, if you've never given anything to a food bank, hey, now's as good a time as any to start.

That whole gym thing? Yeah...uh...I'm slipping. Been busy. Had colds. I've only been out three times in the last thirty days. And that's just not good enough.

The good news: I went yesterday, and it felt really good to work out. So, here's hoping I can get back into the routine. Also, my pecs are sore.